At the age of 13 I was one of the best horse riders in Southern Germany, but I didn’t find horse-riding very fulfilling. Continuous arguments between my parents and their bourgeois lifestyle did not give me any aims in life. So I tried to find security and love through relationships with men.

When I was 18, I came to the conclusion that a normal life was pointless and had no purpose, so I decided to opt out and started using drugs. I started with cannabis and alcohol and later heroin. At first I thought drugs were great and fascinating, but I gradually understood that I was just suppressing my problems and questions. While I was sober, I realized my hopeless situation and my lack of relationships and became depressive.

This was the time when a pastor started to come to our favourite pub from time to time. He would sit down and talk to us, and he wanted to help us. He told us about God and that it was possible to start a new life with Jesus. So I thought: “My down-and-out boyfriend has been a druggie for so many years. He can only be changed by God, but I don’t need God.” Shortly afterwards my life was in a complete mess. One evening I prayed to God for the first time. I didn’t know much about being a Christian at the time, but after my prayer I was filled with fresh hope. The pastor accepted me into his family, and I soon moved in with one of the Crossroads residential communities. I understood that I could hand over my past to God, because Jesus had forgiven me my sins and was opening up new doors for me. This gave me the peace and joy which I’d always longed for.

It was a chance for a new beginning. My relationship with God means that I can live in the here-and-now and learn to cope with the problems of life. God has kept me from returning to my old life. And so I travel regularly to the women’s prison in Cologne to share with others about the change that Jesus can give to each person.